Tuesday, 29 September 2009
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Something I Have Never Seen The Point Of
I have never seen the point of visiting someones grave. This morning I will be taking Grandma to "Visit" Grandpa. We will be going to his grave. I know that many people do this. I have never totally understood it.
Do you visit the graves of friends and family who have died? Why? Why not?
Can someone explain this custom to me?
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- From: Kristenmomof3@xanga
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Comments (18)
my parents put flowers at the graves of family members. it's just a way to pay your respects. they normally go on holidays.
though i can't imagine myself going when i'm older...
When you lose someone at the center of your life, someone you love more than just about anyone else, you'll understand.
@JadedJanissary@xanga -Exactly.
Its more of a comfort for the family/friends. When you loose someone you love, you want to keep their memory close to you. My mother and I drive an hour to go plant new flowers at my grandmothers grave. Its just respectful, would you want people to forget about you when your dead? I know I don't.
@JadedJanissary@xanga - My grandfather and grandmother raised me. Loosing my grandfather would be like you loosing your father. I don't think you can say that I don't understand because I haven't lost anyone close to me. I have lost plenty of people close to me. I just don't understand why I would want to go sit at their body rotting in the ground. What is that supposed to do for me?
It doesn't do something for everybody, but for me it's just a place to think about them and pay respect to them. I put flowers on my grandmother's grave when I'm in a thoughtful mood. I'm not sure how to explain it.
For Chinese people, we have a date specifically assigned to clean the graves of deceased family members. It's a way to show respect.Â
@Kristenmomof3@xanga - it really ISN'T the same as me losing my father, I promise.
@xiaosnowtenshi@xanga - It's a really neat tradition.
Some people (like me!) need to do it for comfort, to pay their respects. I know that these people can't hear me anymore, but it's better (and less weird looking) to go to their graves to say something instead of talking to the air.
In our culture it's traditional for families and people with the same bloodlines to buried together in one cemetery, so that we're all together when we're deceased, as we were when alive.
I don't live where any of my ancestors are buried and the only time I really get to visit or go see their graves, is when someone else has passed away. I'm really okay with this because I know that my family are always with me, whether they're alive or not. But when I get the chance to visit, I take it. I love the feeling of being both physically and mentally close to my family, it's comforting and brings a real feeling of inner peace and security. It's also really nice to say "hello" and just sit there remembering things.
It's not really about respect for me, it's more about love and family.
Each to his/her own though, as always.
This came off kind of selfish and snotty Although I know those weren't your intentions. Maybe you're against the seemingly self-torturing bit of it? Maybe you're going at it from an agnostic/atheist "why am i visiting this box of my grandpops remains?" kind of viewpoint.. (which is why i wanna be cremated and my ashes turned into bottles of sumi-ink or something cool and useful like that).
But for your grandmother its a way to pay respect, maybe feel closer to "his spirit" ...I'm not sure how to explain this ritual either.. im sure I could google/wiki and dig up some drybone explaination and origin, but to say "eh, why do we do this crap" seems kind of cold even in hindsight of everything I just said. But now rthat I think about it.. it DOES seem like remnants of a pagan belife system... but then again, a lot of christianity is a mirror of paganism.
But I digress, this isnt a religion debate. I've always hated going to graveyards to "visit loved ones". It doesnt creep me out being there, I just hate the whole mood it puts me in doing it... but I can say that same thing about weddings and other ceremonials things too.
damn... i totally didn't help you at all. fail.
to make sure nobody robbed the grave or committed necrophilia on your rotting pops. hey, it happens.
A. To put flowers on the grave to respect the dead and pay tribute to their life.
B. To make sure the rednecks down the street didn't still all the flowers you left the last time. (That happens way too often.)
C. To make sure the grave is taken care of. Some old men on lawn mowers massacred my little sister's grave once.
In the South, we tend to do Decorations around springtime. It's when everyone goes to the Church and has a huge picnic by the graveyard. I've never understood it, but it is sometimes fun. One time we had hay rides during a Decoration.
i do it every year. i guess it's a sign of respect and for them to know that we still remember them.
Maybe you should have burried grampa in Paris. Think of what a wonderful time you could have visiting his gravesite. And you could pay your respects to Jim Morrison while you were there.
@JadedJanissary@xanga - Yep. I agree.
@JadedJanissary@xanga - couldn't have come up with a better response.
i do it to pay respects to my lost relative and to honor and cherish their memory.
@JadedJanissary@xanga - i think you had the perfect answer