Some days... well, more like most days... I really wish I lived anywhere but here. I know that hordes of people move to Los Angeles everyday like it is some sort of mecca, but honestly, I've never been an L.A. type of gal.
Sure, there are some things that I love about the City of Angels. For example: The weather is normally mild all year, except for a few excruciatingly hot weeks in summer. From where I live, I could be in the mountains, at the beach, or in the desert in about 30 minutes. We have all manner of authentic ethnic cuisine. I love the diversity of the population here. There is no shortage of things to do and see, not that we ever do or see any of them.
But, as I get older, more and more, I feel like I would gladly trade all of that to live somewhere more peaceful without everything I hate about L.A. For instance: People here are Grouchy ... yes, with a capital G. The traffic is horrendous enough to turn even the calmest, kindest individual into a raving lunatic. I know we're infamous for our freeway shootings, but if you drove our freeways, you would want to shoot someone too. Everything is EXPENSIVE! Case in point, we live in a half million dollar home, a home we could get for less than half that price almost anywhere else in the nation. Smog. Earthquakes. Lack of seasons.
The only communication our neighbors seem interested in has to do with working out the details of building a fence between our two properties so we don't have to see each other. The road to happiness here cuts directly through the plastic surgeon's office. More silicone than you can shake a stick at and a mentality to match.
I'd like to elaborate a bit on that last one. I am one of the rare, fortunate people in Los Angeles to have a short commute to work, just four or five miles on the freeway. In those few miles there are about seven or eight billboards... an ad for a laser center promising to remove any imperfections in your complexion or unwanted hair, one featuring a strategically posed, nude 20-something inviting you to Spearmint Rhino, a local "gentleman's" club, three promoting medical weight loss, one urging drivers to make their funeral arrangements in advance at Forest Lawn, and finally, my personal favorite, a plastic surgeon offering breast enhancement for $2,999. You mean for the price of my gallbladder removal surgery I could have had eight new boobs?! In just my brief ten-minute drive to work, I am bombarded by all of these images telling me that I am not pretty enough or skinny enough, that I need "adjustments." All of this somehow works to make the funeral home sound enticing.
I think every town has its "thing." When I lived in San Diego, everyone was about health and fitness. People wore workout gear, not makeup. In Boston, what mattered most was one's intellect or, in some circles, breeding. As long as you didn't don the dreaded white after Labor Day, nobody cared what you were wearing. In Taiwan, all anyone cared about was money and the status it could bring.
Los Angeles is all about facades. What's on the outside is what matters most. That is just so antithetical to who I am and what I believe that it's no wonder I feel like a fish out of water here. I dream of one day moving to a place where I live in a cottage surrounded by a garden that I cultivate while wearing a long frizzy braid, sweats, a t-shirt, a goofy sunhat, no makeup, and maybe even socks with sandals. As I pull out weeds, I turn to wave at my neighbor, Norman, who is wearing a sweatshirt tucked into plaid golf shorts, those clip-on shades, a fanny pack, and black socks with athletic shoes. Norman then invites us to have dinner and play bridge with him and his wife that evening. They have also invited Juan and Steve, the couple from across the street, who have promised to bring carne asada for the barbecue. I gladly accept and say that I'll bring one of the pies I baked that morning with berries from our garden. Nobody thinks we're crazy or eccentric because our clothes don't match and we don't look like we just walked off the set of Melrose Place.
Does such a place exist? If so, when can I move in? As it stands, around here I feel like I have to do my hair to go get the mail from the mailbox. I change out of the shorts I wear around the house and into longer pants to go to the grocery store because my glaring white legs might terrify someone accustomed to the usual L.A. "healthy" glow. Sometimes I feel like I am forever trapped in high school. "Omg, do you like my hair like this? Do these pants make me look fat? Is my makeup cute enough?" For pity sakes, I graduated from high school twenty years ago, and I feel too old for this. Sigh... but (and this is a big but), my family is here, and to me, my family is home. So for now, I try to be as cute as I can be without completely losing sight of the fact that cuteness is not what matters most. Integrity, no matter how it is packaged or how greatly it is undervalued, is still my measuring stick. And, there is always the backyard, newly fenced, where I am free to be as frumpy, flabby, and pasty as I want, where if I stand close enough to the eucalyptus, I almost can't smell the smog.
Quote of the day: Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor
Comments (174)
ssdlkfjasdhf I love minnesota.
i hate LA too. i hate how what car you drive, who you hang out with, and what clothes you wear come before the person's integrity, intelligence, and personality. besides that, i also hate the traffic and strip malls. it boggles me why so many people love LA or want to move there.
After spending a year in the east coast, I'd have to beg to differ. I feel like people in the east coast are extremely uptight and mean. But maybe that's just me.
@Whispers_of_Wind@xanga - Very true.
i totally agree than again i dont live in socal anymore. haha.
I couldn't have said it better.
so um why don't you move...
i love los angeles. yes, i loathe traffic on wilshire and the 405, but i love the fusion of so many cultures and philosophies. i love being minutes away from the hammer musuem, lacma, and the geffen playhouse. i love that the hollywood bowl always has interesting performers and musicals. i love the getty and the getty center villa. i adore being so close to santa monica, venice, and zuma beach.
and i won't deny that i love the LA nightlife and the restaurants, that i love rodeo drive and shopping on melrose - even if some people i see are a glaring shade of orange.
Yes! You speak as if you know how I feel exactly about LA. I feel the same exact way. From the good, to the bad... same feelings here!
BTW, your idea of a perfect place? It sounds like Oregon to me! try it out!
that's why i moved out to the smaller cities off l.a. people are a lot friendlier and more relaxed by the beach.
I think you just described Wisteria Lane .Sounds perfect!
i've been surrounded by friendly people (who are these grouchy people?) of amazing diversity and the best weather in the country (i would much rather have a lack of seasons than have to deal with shoveling snow and putting chains on car tires). and while i wish housing was less expensive, everything else is no more expensive than it is anywhere else (including costa rica! lol). i never want to live anywhere else.
@sophia@xanga - I felt just like you do when I graduated from high school, but alas, that was twenty years ago. Get back to me when you're an old lady like me with crow's feet and a mortgage the size of Wisconsin.
@deprivation_now@xanga - I would love to if I could convince my family to move with me, but they can't move. Since being near them is more important to me than anything, I will have to grin and bear it.
@Whispers_of_Wind@xanga - I don't think I said East Coast people were particularly friendly or cheerful, just that they judge others by a different standard. I encountered some of that snobbiness you speak of when I was in Boston, but I also have encountered it here.
@lovepeacecalm@xanga - @WaterfallPhilosophies@xanga @d0llh0use@xanga - - Thank you ... nice to know there are some kindred spirits out there. Oregon sounds wonderful. Washington State is looking nice too. Even the central coast of California. Now to just get my family to move!
And one more thing ... I don't "HATE" Los Angeles. There are some things about L.A. that I know I would miss terribly if I lived elsewhere. But, I often feel like this just isn't where I belong.
Okay, two more things ... I have written a follow-up to this post. You can find it here if you can stand more of my rambling.
Come live up in Canada ;) I always wanted to try and live in the U.S. I was always fascinated by the pop culture and the social surroundings. But L.A would definitely not be my first pick. I always did think that L.A was a bit too extreme whenever I see television shows based on L.A stores. (Tanning beds, salons, plastic surgeons, etc etc) However, your ideal living surroundings sounds like paradise!
I've never seen the appeal of LA. I've been there three times and I've never been impressed. It's too big and too trendy, or something. I complain a lot about living in the suburbs of Pittsburgh, but really its great here.
at least you don't live in guido-ville. i always had the impression that west coast ppl were nicer than east coasters.
I love your final quote! But wow, does LA seem that bad? Or do you think it's because LA is mostly associated with (not to be rude) but younger people, or people of vanity? I've been wondering if I should relocate to LA someday, but then again...cost of living there does scare me a bit. Maybe I'll go to another smaller, less "perfect" city in Cali...
@Whispers_of_Wind@xanga - no i think you are right as a life long resident of the East Coast, i know we are uptight.
I know what you mean about L.A. it doesn't really hold any allure to me. My parents are from California and got so sick of it they moved out east, they love it! But to me LA is boring, I've seen it all and done it all, i prefer less crowded cities i.e. Baltimore and Philadelphia over New York. But Portland and Seattle are gaining popularity in the hipster crowd and they have seasons (if not a tremendous amount of rain)
Really, one word: Austin. I grew up in this beautiful little city, and it has the diversity (I taught at a bilingual Vietnamese public school) and nice weather of LA (only gets down to freezing a couple of times a year, at night) without the smog, earthquakes, or tons of people. Many Californians move there because of those reasons. The city's "thing" is living green and being healthy. Whole Foods started there, you know, and their flagship store is both a tourist attraction and a local hangout. Running with friends at Town Lake is a common social outing.
But the thing I love most about Austin is that people are allowed to live their own lives without judgment. I believe that the gay community considers Austin second only to San Fransisco as an accepting city, you can hear 5 different languages spoken on the bus before lunch, people go topless at the famous Barton Springs city pool, and yet my family was super-conservative Christian and we never got hassled for choices we made (like homeschooling and having a bigger family) either. When I went to the University of Texas, although my views were different than many of my professors, the atmosphere of mutual respect and valuing a person's experiences allowed us to learn from each other.
So: Austin.
I'd like to visit some day. I've never been to the West Coast. I can't believe so many people think people on the East Coast are so uptight.
i'm sick of singapore as well. i want to live somewhere that has 4 seasons and has alot of places to go. singapore is soooooo small, i feel like i've covered the whole of singapore already and there's no where else to go.
Move to the suburbs or the East Coast.
Can't believe you only have a 4 minute commute on the freeway.
You're quite lucky there.
Mines about 50 mins, which should normally take 15-20 without traffic.
you need pennsylvania. (as in southeastern, outside of philadelphia, near the poconos pennsylvania)
not only will you get norman, but deer to watch in the backyard as you barbeque.
my family moved from california to wisconsin.... my mom and dad like the peacefulness here while I miss the fast and loud city... i think it's an age thing