Wednesday, 15 April 2009

• My Bali Wedding!

  

  So it's been a few weeks, but my pictures have finally arrived from our photographer, and now I'm ready to share my wedding with you!

  To start off, we were married in Bali, Indonesia on March 21, 2009. The ceremony was held in a private villa, where we only had a few people come. My family was unable to attend, as flying overseas was just too expensive for them. I was okay with that though, it was actually more important that my wife's family was there, and thankfully some of them were able to make it, most importantly being her mother. I was so glad she was able to make it; otherwise I know my wife would have regretted it later on. Before the ceremony started, we were taken to the villa by the company who was organizing the entire event, and it was amazing. Walking through it, I had a bit of a hard time imaging why anyone would want to rent this place while staying in Bali....it was just too elegant. It made you want to spend more time inside the villa than seeing Bali, which is crazy. Here's a few pictures of where we stayed:
  

  

  From the chairs, I often swam from that end of the pool, to the other....
  

  

  and then hopped out to grab a snack or watch tv while I waited for the staff to prepare everything else.

  This area was especially nice because of the hot day. Our guests were able to sit in the shade and rest their feet in the water, and the kids just loved it. Too bad they were picking up the pebbles and tossing them in the water....oops! No problem, I swam in to pull them out later that night so the staff wouldn't think we wrecked the place. I liked having a refrigerator so close to the pool, heh. When the staff was ready, we were taken inside and they had to prepare us. We wanted a traditional Balinese wedding, so they had gathered the costumes, makeup, and other accessories that you'll notice we're wearing.

  This was me before...
  

  

  Notice the smile? It's vanished in the next picture. To say I hated being prepared would be putting it lightly....They wanted to put makeup on me for the photos, which I already knew, but I'm not the type of guy who wears makeup. Never have been. This was the only "decent" photo I felt like sharing during my transformation.
  

  

  The reason for the makeup wasn't just because of the photographer that we hired. It was also because we specified that we wanted a traditional Balinese wedding. Little did I know, the tradition including looking like this guy below.

  

  Yes, that's lipstick. And it's brighter than his own wife!  And of course, it wouldn't be complete without the fake mustache. Mustache rides, anyone? J/J.  I was actually prepared to wear all that, but I knew my wife would murder me, so I opted to skip it. Besides, I was already happy with having a unique wedding. No need to go overboard, so I'll compromise.

  Anyway, so that was my part. Little does my wife know, I'll also be sharing hers!
  

  

   

   

  

  As this was going on, the staff was preparing the area where the ceremony would be held. Some of it was typical, like flowers on the ground, but I guess because it was my wedding day, I thought it all looked wonderful. As I looked over the garden, I was just speechless. In a few moments I'd be married here. I wouldn't be single anymore. I'd have a wife. A bigger family. Just thoughts after thoughts, and the scenery of it all just made it perfect to me. Anyway, this was the area being set-up.
  

   

  

  

  And before I knew it, I heard soft music playing in the background, letting me know that it would begin soon.

  As the music played, the family/friends who did come started to make their way into the garden, and they all scattered to find a nice place in the shade to watch. It was a HOT day! I guess nothing can be perfect, and having a wedding in tropic weather = sweating. Especially if you're wearing layered clothing. Thankfully, I got use to it after awhile.

  Once all the guests were there, the music faded into a new song, Brian Adams and Barbara Streisand "I've Finally Found Someone". I tried to resist my inner south park jokes of Barbara Streisand, but the song was rather nice to hear. I even ended up downloading it later that week. Corny, I know I know...As people poured out, I started saying to myself "Okay, here she com....nope, no that's just her friend. Well this next one should be....nope, no that's just her cousin. Ah here we go, here comes the.....nope. Some guest I don't even know." This carried on halfway through the song, until.....

  

  
  Here comes the bride! At this point I was trying to take in the moment as much as I could. It would be an event that I would always remember, one of those memories that would bring me happiness as I grow older. It was the first time I got to see my wife in her wedding gown, although I did get to sneak a peek at the gown when her aunt was tailoring it. I loved the Balinese additions she made, such as the golden ornaments in the back of her hair (mahkota) and the armbands/sash. She was going to wear a full Balinese outfit but a few months prior she changed her mind to having a "mixed" look instead with a western wedding gown. Just one of the many decesions we stressed over, but all worth it. Next to her is my mother-in-law, Sonja, and I was so happy she could make it. I know it meant the world to my wife.

  And before I knew it, we were here:
  

  

  
   But don't worry, you can see our faces here...
  

  

  And so the ceremony started. We exchanged vows, the priest gave his blessings, and it was all rather short. I think the entire ceremony took maybe 45 minutes tops? As you can tell, we still had a Christian marriage, though we were not able to do the Catholic route ((Even though we're both Catholic)).

  It was too complicated because we're required to take marriage classes before getting married, and I didn't have the time for that. My contract would expire in a few more months, and I'd have to return back home to the US. Boo! But the minister/pastor did a fine job, and we were blessed to have him offer his services to us.

  After it was over, the next step was the legalizing of it so Indonesia would officially recognize it. Now, having been an altar boy as a child, I served my own fair share of marriages. I do recall the priest having the bride and groom sign a document, to which he then presented them as "Mr. and Mrs. Whatever". This is basically what took place here, but twice. Once for the religious ceremony ((As required by Indonesian law)) and again by a government representative. And after signing, we were now a happily married couple!
  

  

  
  And it was done! We're now Mr. and Mrs. Hebert. Daisy chose to inherit my name, something I wisely decided to talk about much earlier on. Thankfully, it was quite easy. She very much wanted to have her husband's family name, and I very much wanted a woman who didn't give me grief about it. Though this tradition of a woman taking the man's family name is common in the west, here in Indonesia it's not always the same way. Plenty of people don't even carry family names, and those that do either keep it or opt to just inherit there spouse's.

  Like my sister-in-law. She's married to a Balinese man who has no last name, but she does. After getting married, she continued to carry her family name, which was then continued on to her 2 kids, even though her husband still only has a first name. This whole name changing would create a world of other problems when we arranged our documents for the US embassy after the marriage, but it was quickly remedied when we just had Daisy "lose" her passport and file for another one, thus telling her government of her new name without any complications.

  But enough of that, as I could go on forever on those troubles. At this point, we just gathered with out guests, I got to meet who else my wife invited but forgot to tell me, and yes, more pictures! Below I'm standing with our niece and nephews ((from left to right, Shanti, Gung,  Andraes, and Erik)). I'm going to really miss them when I go back home.

  

  

  And the wedding was done! Like I said, it was all very quick, but we had wanted a "simple" wedding from the beginning. By simple, I mean no long ceremonies, dance halls, or having people sing. I know lots of people enjoy that at a wedding, but I've always hated it. Always. Even with free alcohol, it just makes me want to go home quicker. I'm just anti-social like that I guess.

  Money was the other ((bigger)) factor too though, as paying for a wedding in Bali was expensive enough. I just didn't have the funds for any other exciting things, and I was already over-budget with what we did do. Oops....But it was all worth it. I have 0 regrets about the money I spent, it was a day I'll always remember.  

  Once we all had eaten and talked for a while, we moved to the beach, mostly for more photos. They would be used in our photo album that the photographer made. I recieved the book and video from the photographer about a week later, and I was blown away by the work. I almost skipped buying the dvd, because I figured I could save money by just recording it myself. But I left my tripod up while recording, and my video was NOTHING compared to the job this guy did. He really knew how to put it all together, and I was glad to have bought it.

  Trying to pose for some of the pictures at the beach turned out to be quite funny, as many of the tourists and other people there stopped by to take a look at us and take pictures. In a few minutes, we had a rather decent sized crowd watching the photographer take pictures of us.
  

   

   

  

  And that was it. It ended with a sunset, and her in my arms. Truly one of the happiest days of my life. We took a few more photos for our album, and then headed back to our villa.

  We would spend the next week ANXIOUSLY waiting for our pictures because we were SO ready to see how they came out. That's why this blog was a little belated too, as I wanted to share the photos in it instead of making a 2nd blog with pictures. I know I'll look back on this blog some day when I return home to the states, and I wanted a nice, long one with the photos to look back on. I couldn't have been happier with how it all turned out.

   

  

  
   So if any of you consider a marriage in Bali, send me a message and let me know!

  I can get you in touch with a very great company who's been in this buisness for years, and they do a phenominal job. They will give you info on all the places you can stay, provide any costumes if you need, and transportation. Little things that make it all work out nicely!

  Now, Daisy and I move on to our next challenge in life, establishing our intent to move to the US together. For anyone who's gone through this process, you know how gruling it can be. Today, ironically enough, I stopped by the US embassy to file my I-130 petion for DCF (Direct Consular Filing) along with various other paper work (G-325A, birth certificates, marriage certificates, passports, and plenty of copies) so that Daisy can get her visa/green card to come live in the US. She's excited about it, though I know it will be a tough transition leaving her family/friends behind. But she loves me, and says it's what she wants. In about 2 weeks, we'll hopefully be contacted to go to our interview, so I'll have more to blog on that later.

  Where did you get married?

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