Sunday, 15 March 2009

• I Had Transvestites, Murderers, and Strippers for Neighbors in London

  
  

  Living in London was quite exciting.

  More exciting than identifying the disparities between the English and US versions of Harry Potter, like some people do.

  However, the location I lived in was odd. A bit stranger on the strange-scale than that time I came in last when playing twister with my wheelchair-bound and blind friend; which was about six elephants worth of strangeness. 

  Three doors to the left of mine was a strip club, where the bouncers knew me by face and would say 'hello' (purely because I walked by it so often. Honest). "Hi." This felt good when I was with friends. Although when my parents came to visit the novelty wasn't so great and I had some explaining to do.
  

  Next to that we had a bookstore. "Great, I love reading." However, this was full of books with pictures. But not the kind of picture books for children, or those with Revelife accounts. Hanging from it's window was a sign which read 'we now sell poppers.' Cheers mate, useful. I figured this was perhaps a sign of the times during the current economic climate with the owner needing to diversify, and I came to the conclusion that maybe his entrepreneurial attitude should be championed and used as an example to all other small businesses. Plus, the world could do with more poppers. 

  Best of all though was the largest shop for transvestites and transexuals "on earth". Wohoo. This was four to the right, just past a 'video shop' and a 'massage parlor' (neither of which were the conventional types and need explaining, except for children and those with Revelife accounts). The best part of this store though was it's window advertisement which had a "before" and "after" picture alongside the banner "this could be you." Oh boy, now you've got me thinking.    

  And speaking of transvestites (which is a sentence you don't say every day) my housemate and I found it quite hilarious when we came across "transexual domination chat" on the internet history of a laptop belonging to a random guy that lived with us. And yes, for research purposes we did click the link.           

  I think though, the personal highlight was the 1:00am stabbing on our doorstep, which was amazing because there was blood, a big street fight, police cars, riot vans, ambulances and the like. Just like in the movies. I could have done with some popcorn whilst watching it unfold. The following day, I wasn't able to leave my house as the area had become / was a taped off as a designated crime scene. Which was the best excuse I've ever had to not go to work. And I can say that because the guy that was stabbed survived. Although, if he had died I probably would have said it anyway. 

  So. That was London. Or at least, where I stayed. 

  What's it like where you live?

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